Only a person who risks is free.

I got this in a mail forwarded to me by a friend. Gives reason for some serious thought!

ONLY A PERSON WHO RISKS IS FREE
by Author Unknown

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams,
before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

~ from page 147 of the book “Addiction by Prescription”
by Joan Gadsby ~

 

THE LHC EXPERIMENT

This was the article I had written when the first experiment on LHC was suspended in 2008 at CERN, Geneva.

THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER EXPERIMENT: IS D-DAY DEFERRED?

In recent memory no scientific experiment has created as much excitement and consternation as the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment in CERN, Geneva. The awe-inspiring anticipation that the secret to the creation of matter and the universe is finally to be unraveled has kept one group waiting with bated breaths for the outcome of this experiment.

Science has always reserved for itself the unique benefit of generating technological thrills for the benefit of mankind. While mechanical contraptions and electrical and electronic devices ruled the roost till the turn of 21^st century, rapid advances in nanotechnology, microbiology, superconductivity and other areas of science promise to expand the horizons of comfort in our daily lives. In the light of such appealing good times ahead, the sudden appearance of news that the CERN experiment could possibly spell the end of earth came like a bolt from the blue and certainly put the scare into some folks.

What is the experiment all about? How much of the information is true? What can we expect from this endeavour?  These are some of the questions the present article attempts to briefly address. Perhaps at the end of it, the discerning reader could decide if we really need to fear the outcome of this experiment.

What is the experiment about?

The LHC experiment is basically designed to replicate the situation that existed about a billionth of a second after the Big Bang took place. This was the time frame which signaled the origin of material universe and the fundamental forces that govern its dynamics. Though Newton’s laws on how gravity acts on mass have been around for some time now, there is still no plausible quantum theory of gravity to explain how mass itself was generated. Moreover, Vera Rubin and Kent Ford’s work at the Kitt National Observatory in Arizona, USA, laid the foundation for the discovery of “dark matter”, which cannot be seen in the conventional sense, and yet pervades close to 60% of this universe. Extensions of the currently prevailing “Standard Model” accommodate the dark matter in the form of Supersymmetry and String theories. According to these current theories, particles acquire their mass through interactions with an all-pervasive field called the Higgs field. Though this field is supposed to be everywhere and at the bottom of all matter, it has still remained elusive to the probing science of man. This is one reason why the Higgs Boson, which carries this Higgs Field, is dubbed “God’s particle.”  The LHC experiment seeks to find this mysterious particle and many other particles called “super-partners” of many of the known particles, some of which could serve as dark matter candidates and hence seek answers to the origin of universe and dark matter.

How is it being done?

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at CERN is a mammoth machine that is the culmination of 20 years of single pointed attention of scientists, engineers and technicians. It is also the most complex machine ever built by man. The CERN website lists some astounding statistics about this complex instrument. With a circumference just less than 27 km, and straddling the French and Swiss territories, it nestles more than 100 m underground.  At full power, the LHC will accelerate protons to 99.9% the speed of light, which loosely means that under the same conditions existing in the collider, they could rotate around the earth about 700 times by the time we blink our eyes once. Imparting an energy of 7 TeV to each proton (CERN reminds us that this energy is about the same possessed by a mosquito in flight!), they will induce trillions of such protons to race around the cavity of the collider in a beam that is about as thick as a strand of hair. Zipping around at such dizzying speeds in a cavity that is maintained at a temperature comparable to that of outer space (about -270 degree Centigrade – comparably, the coldest recorded temperature on earth is -89 degree Centigrade at the Russian Vostok station in Antarctica) they would then smash into each other creating temperatures more than 100 000 times hotter than the heart of the sun! It is in these extreme conditions that scientist hope to find the Higgs Boson and answer several critical questions about the origin of matter.

On September 10^th, the day feared by some as the D-day that would end the world, CERN successfully steered the first beam of protons fully around the entire accelerator cavity. The plan was to first spend the first few weeks in helping the CERN scientists, engineers and technicians to gain experience and get used to this complex machine. It was only later that the accelerator systems were to be systematically brought into play to ramp up the protons to terrific speeds that would finally culminate in their collisions. However, on September 19^th, a large quantity of helium (used to keep the superconducting coils of the magnets cooled) leaked into the main tunnel, forcing the scientists to temporarily shut down the system. After diagnostics and repairs, the LHC is expected to be run again only around April 2009.

There were many who heaved a sigh of relief on knowing that the feared D-day was deferred. They even considered it ‘divine intervention.’ But really, is it true that D-day is deferred?

How true are the fears associated with this experiment?

Contrary to the majority group that is keenly awaiting the results of the CERN experiment, there is a small section of people forming a minority which fears that this experiment is soon to blow them to kingdom come. There are several fears that have been vociferously voiced by this small group of concerned people. From court cases in the USA and Europe to a traumatized teenager’s suicide in Bhopal, India, the reactions were varied, and at times bizarre. So much so that on the morning of September 11, the world was so engrossed in discovering if a  27 km long tunnel had set off the end of the world that the anniversary of the twin tower bombings found only a fleeting mention among most media. While some of the fears pertain to technicalities that are beyond the scope of this general article, two of these are worth discussing- the cosmic rays and the mini black holes.

Several highly energetic charged particles like electrons, protons and some other nuclei are produced in certain astronomical environments. These constitute the cosmic rays and are so energetic that they can easily pass through many inches of lead. However earth’s atmosphere shields us from these rays, which have actually been hitting the earth since its formation. It is true that cosmic rays will be reproduced in the LHC experiment at CERN. However, the point to note is that cosmic rays far more energetic than these have been hitting the earth for several millennia and the earth has still survived without being destroyed. Therefore there are no grounds to fear that cosmic rays produced at CERN will eat the earth up from inside as some have feared.

Black holes are formed in space when an object much more massive than the sun collapses into itself, thus concentrating a huge amount of mass into a very small volume. This enormous density of matter creates such exceptional force of gravitational pull that everything in the vicinity of such an entity gets pulled into it. It is speculated that even light cannot escape this almighty grab and that is why these entities remain black, hence giving them the name “black holes.” It may be pointed out that the famous Chandrasekhar limit is associated with the theory of black hole formation. Black holes constitute a part of what we call as “dark matter” in the Universe.  While scientists at CERN have used well established physics laws to prove that microscopic black holes cannot form inside the LHC, the obvious point to note is that there is just not enough mass to even initiate the formation of black holes. Also, the near instant disintegration of particles formed in the LHC ensures that matter does not stay long enough to accumulate or to form a mini black hole in the cavity of LHC.

It is perhaps in anticipation of such concerns that CERN instituted a study as far back as 2003 to prepare a safety report. The LHC Safety Assessment Group (LSAG) report allays most of the fears and concerns regarding the LHC experiment and is available for public view at http://cern.ch/lsag/LSAG-Report.pdf.

What can we expect from the experiment?

The LHC machine is the culmination of perhaps every technology and science known to man. As can be expected, it is bound to face several glitches and obstacles along the way. The helium leak due to a faulty electrical circuit is perhaps only the first one among several others lurking around the corner. A case in study is the recent hacking of the CERN computers that control several complicated systems in the LHC. Thomas Alva Edison is said to have tried out thousands of experiments before he perfected the simple storage battery. If every failure were to bring in despondency and despair, then science would never have progressed. It is only because impediments were treated as schools to learn from, that great inventions and discoveries saw the light of day.

While the analysis of the data and conclusive results from the LHC experiment are more than a year away, what can be looked upon with interest is the spin-off of the vast technological marvels that this project created. Especially for a country like India where there is a vast pool of technical and scientific manpower, such an opportunity would help in gaining hands-on experience with some of the best minds in the field. Close to 200 Indian scientists from TIFR, BARC, SINP, IUAC and several Indian Universities are involved in various groups that run this experiment, and are bound to bring back with them a rich and new experience.   Such focused interplay between man and machine calls for close interaction and cooperation, and is only bound to herald the dawn of a new world of Physics in which India too can play a dominant role. While there is enough reason for grouse for missing the industrial revolution, India could perhaps be standing on the threshold of a new era in understanding how nature works. All it requires is for us to throw aside our fears and misconceptions, and summon the courage to explore the opening frontiers.

 

BRIBE OR FEES FOR SERVICE?

This morning, one of my colleagues, who was selected into a Central government agency as a scientist, was narrating a poignant experience. He was asked to undergo a medical examination in the Gandhi Medical Hospital (GMH) by the agency. For this, they sent a letter to the Director General of Medical Operations (DGMO), Hyderabad. This official was to sign the document and request the Medical Superintendent of GMH to set up a panel of doctors who would examine my colleague and submit a report to the Central Government agency regarding his medical status.

Thinking that this was apparently a straightforward process, my colleague happily set off to the office of the DGMO. A clerk confronted him and informed him about the route his “file” would take before the DGMO would sign the document for the Medical Superintendent of GMH. It was a neat 7-day process during which the file would travel to about half a dozen tables!

My colleague was shocked out of his skin. As he sat gaping, the clerk informed him that he could get the whole thing done in one hour if he could be given Rs. 500. My colleague demanded to know why. The clerk was very polite and patient. He explained, “The typist has to be given Rs.100, and there are other section-in-charges who have to be paid.” One must grant it to them. They had a very neat and well set operation going their way here.

My colleague said, “But I have only Rs.200 with me here. Can you adjust with that?” The Clerk answered, “Oh, sir! With Rs.200, hardly anyone will get anything. Never mind – we have an ATM just 5 minutes from here. I will come with you.” And so, he accompanied my colleague to the ATM machine, waited patiently in the line with him, took the Rs. 500 and both went back to the office of the DGMO.

There, as promised, the clerk came back with the file exactly in an hour and handed all the relevant documents to my colleague.

As a parting sign of helpful nature – more like a bonus gift with a purchase made – he asked my colleague, “Sir, there will be similar charges at GMH too when you go there.” “What?” exclaimed my colleague. “How much?” The clerk respectfully said, “Oh, I cannot say sir. That depends on who you talk to there and what you talk.” My colleague was wizened by now. “Would you happen to know someone there?” The clerk answered, “Sorry sir! But no. All the best!”

As he narrated this otherwise unbelievable story to me, he wondered if giving bribes all along was the right thing for him to do. I had similar thoughts too. But consider the following.

The deadline to submit the certificate was hardly a fortnight away. But the Government just did not care. They lay down such an elaborately confusing process bound in reams of red-tape for a simple service, that it is very tempting to pay your way through a shortcut. That brings us to the important question. When someone is offering to do all the running around for you and get all the required signatures at all the relevant tables and offices, is he offering a service or demanding a bribe?

Much as my conscience would hate to admit it, I think the Government deserves the former answer. I am quite sure that the Government red-tapism and bureaucracy  has a nasty habit of confounding simple issues in files and procedures, that we are forced to stifle the soft voice of our conscience.

 

Ravaging the Innocent…

The other day, some obnoxious “talent show” was booming away on the idiot box in the living room. This one was for “Juniors” – i.e infants in the age group of 4 to 10. As I watched disgusted at the overdone makeups and outlandish costumes the kids were wearing and dancing away, my little niece (yes, she is glued to that show, and her parents are quite desperate on how to break her away from it) asked me, “Mama, is it needed to dress like this for dancing?”

An innocent question. But those of us reading this will instantly alert ourselves to a startling truth – kids cannot distinguish or discriminate. It does not matter whether it is between good or bad, necessary and unnecessary, pleasant and violent etc. At that age, they just accumulate information which they use to form their character later on in life. Period.

Under such circumstances, let us consider what we chose to beam into our living rooms 24 hours a day, 365 days an year. Adults fighting and cursing each other in the name of “talent”, chubby kids in garish makeup batting their eyelids and lisping to the judges if they did well, hulks of men beating each other to pulp and cursing in most unprintable languages, out-of-work (or, let us say, those just not having the talent to work) stars and starlets revealing their secret desires to hidden and overt cameras…the list is endless. Is it prudent by any yardstick to expose and ravage the innocence of a childhood to these acidic and abrasive influences?

Just to drive home the point. I was having an interesting discussion with a colleague of mine who was making a comparison of two nephews of his. One was mostly allowed to watch all these programs on the TV along with the elders in the house in the name of “helping him grow mature enough to decide and discriminate” for himself. The other was allowed to watch programs in a phased manner – i.e., his parents actively monitored his watching habits till he reached an age where they were sure that he was NATURALLY mature to assimilate, judge and decide. Even to all of us, the difference among the two teenagers was obvious. The latter had a careful, measured and informed opinion on matters with a matured demeanor.  The former was fidgety and edgy all the time, with an evasive nature.

A point to consider would be that in exposing our kids to such raw content, we are hastening the maturity of their minds without nature having been given a chance to correspondingly mature their understanding and wisdom.

While everyone is shouting hoarse about some kind of censoring body for monitoring the programs aired on TV, I think that parental counseling and control bears better results that can make an everlasting impact. Just like a sapling needs a support to grow straight and strong, tender minds of kids need support and guidance till they are into their teens. A little understanding and adjustment from parents themselves in this regard is sure to help in preparing a generation that is smart, wise and mature while being knowledgeable and confident at the same time.

 

The unwinding of a Jam

The Sumo Grande advertisement doing the rounds on the TV recently shows an altercation between two motorists and a stout serious looking villanous character comes charging down the road. When everyone is expecting him to land a few hefty blows and bullodoze people out of the way to clear things up, he breaks into a smile and pleads with everyone to move along. Most unexpected, but rather pleasing wouldn’t you agree? Especially if you are stuck in the snarl and are eager to get a move on.

Something similar happened a few days back. I was stuck in an almighty traffic jam at the JNTU junction. Even by the normal supreme unassailable standards set by Hyderabad traffic, this one had to be in the upper league. To make matters worse, no traffic policeman was visible. Two-wheelers corked themselves in every available space and the auto drivers worked their vehicles dangerously close to the four wheelers. The behemoths of RTC buses and the trucks stood menacingly, ready to roll over any opposition to their transition.

I was stuck proper – could not back away and could not move front either. And that is when I saw her getting down from a school bus that was also caught in the jam. She brought three senior students from the bus and got down to regulating and unwinding the jam. A few smiles here and some cajoling there, she soon could get a few vehicles moving. Soon, some concerned citizens sent the kids back into the bus and got down to help her regulate the traffic. Realising that things were finally moving, everyone co-operated and soon, the traffic was smoothly purring along.

When my car finally reached the junction, she was still there and the kids were still in the bus, patiently waiting for their teacher to come back. I could not but help feel humbled. Here I was giving company to several others in bemoaning and groaning our fate when there she was, ready to show HOW to go around the obstacle.

As I went past her, I could not but help give her a warm smile of gratefulness and admiration. She smiled back and waved me on. May her tribe increase!

 

Picture perfect PAA…

Just a few days back, all of us in our family went to the movie PAA.  Many say that this film is inspired by the 1996 Ford Coppollo’s film Jack with Robin Williams essaying a similar role with ageing disorder. But R. Balakrishnan (his screen credit put his name as R. Balki) who directed and scripted the film clearly said that his primary objective of the movie was to reverse the roles of the father-son duo Amitab-Abhishek.

The movie itself bears out the director’s testimony. Progeria at best is like a background, floating in and out of the drama unfolding on the screen. I immediately felt the distinct contrast of PAA with Taare Zameen Par – a movie that took a very serious look at the disorder of dyslexia. One reason could perhaps be the vastly differing statistics. While only one in 8 million could have Progeria, almost one in 100 children have some form of dyslexia, hence making it a more socially identifiable disease.

Of course the biggest feature of the movie is undoubtedly Amitab’s essaying of the Progeria affected Auro. The Economics Times review speaks of to not be Amitab Bachchan and still deliver bigtime. To be able to deliver a stunning performance without the characteristic features that identify him (his height, voice etc) calls for some superlative skills. Of course, the make-up skills of Christien Tinsley (The Passion of The Christ, Catwoman) and Dominie Till (King Kong, Lord of the Rings) – taking all of 6 hours to put on – deserves an equal mention.

Another interesting comparison of PAA is with the Scott Fitzgerald’s 1922 novel “The curious case of Benjamin Button” and made into a movie in 2008. Here, Benjamin is born as a 70-year old person and ages backwards! 

India has a very distinct link to Progeria too.  Bisul khan and Razia Khatooon’s family in Chhapra, Bihar has seven children, of which five are Progeria patients. It is the only country in the world with such an unenviable statistic. Out Of the five, three daughters, Guriya, Rehana and Rubina are dead; having passed away at the ages of 17,24 and 13 respectively.Two children Sanjita (21 year old) and Gulab Shah(7 year old) are normal. Of the two sons Ikramul (23) and Ali Hosain (22), Ikramul died about a week back. His unfulfilled desire was to meet Amitab Bhacchan who played the title role in PAA.

Overall, PAA was a very enjoyable movie for the simple reason that there were some real funny one-liners and rib-tickling moments that take away the weary feeling we all have at the end of a tiring day. And that is what happened to all of us that day!

 

India is a TEN year old country…

This headline caught my attention in no time flat. It was in an email from CNBC-18 which landed in my Inbox this morning. And why would India qualify to be a ten year old country? According to CNBC-18 analysis, the past decade has seen revolutionary changes in terms of progress on the economic and business front. These changes have catapulted India to be one of the top nations with a voice to be heard on the global front. Judging by these factors, CNBC-18 hit the nail right on the head by calling India a 10-year old country.

But looking deeper,  what is the use of earning and accumulating if the basic family structure is slowly fracturing and the social fabric is fragmenting? The so-called ‘developed nations’ (example USA, UK, Germany, Sweden) all have divorce rates close to 40%. India still has the lowest divorce rate in the world. – with about 1%.  However a survey has indicated that in the past 4 years, divorce rates in most Indian metropolis has almost doubled. Urbanised Punjab and Haryana have seen a 150% increase in divorce rate while Kerala saw a whopping 350% increase in the same when compared to the past decade. Spiralling increase in divorce cases filed in Delhi, Mumbai and Bangalore has also been observed in the past five years. These metropolis and states have incidentally taken the brunt of rapid urbanisation, economic progress and better awareness of rights.

If the family and society is broken and prefers a nuclear existence rather than a holistic survival, then who is actually benefiting from the economic progress and political visibility?

Economics, politics and money power maybe the new-age parameters by which the global visibility of a country is judged. But ultimately, WHAT the country does with such progress and HOW it progresses further is decided by its deep-rooted culture and heritage. It is perhaps wise to remember that the new-age parameters are only tools for our use. Their utility is judged by how WE use them. And that in turn is a direct manifestation of our culture and heritage.

Let us not leave our roots to seek a floating fancy. While it is important for our survival to focus on our economy, let us not forget our eons old culture and heritage. One cannot be sacrificed at the cost of another.

 

The Engineering of a Collapse

A couple of days back, two reporters from ITV’s  ‘India News’ Hindi channel came to our college. They were looking to interview a few faculty members and students regarding reasons for so many engineering college seats going vacant every year.

This year, almost 2 lakh seats were available under the EAMCET Convener’s quota and about 45,000 seats under the management quota. About 9000 seats under the former quota were still vacant even after the second phase of counseling was closed, close to 6000 of which were in Engineering streams and 3000 in pharmacy. Even under the management quota (45,000 seats), only the top 10 colleges (out of a total 645 colleges) could manage to fill up their seats.

Though every study on skilled manpower requirement concludes that our engineering colleges need to jack up their intake to meet the demand for the next decade, we still find the perplexing reality of most colleges offering engineering courses having quite a few seats lying vacant.

It is not that this reality has suddenly been thrust on us. It was slowly seeping in all along and the signs were there for the past few years.For example, Tamil Nadu found that the demand for traditional engineering subjects like Mechanical, Civil, Electrical etc we steadily going up as compared to the hot-favourites like Electronics, IT and Computers. This is more or less the same in every state – more so Andhra Pradesh.

If observed, courses like IT, Electronics and Computers are technology based as compared to the traditional ones like Civil, Mechanical and Electrical. Science and Engineering are two wheels on which technological progress moves forward. Engineering needs to latch on to put to practice and give a form to advances made by science. One reason why Engineering became such a huge hit with students of the past couple of decades was that it introduced courses just in time to capitalise the boom in IT and computers sectors. This craze was also responsible for the massive surge in engineering colleges and seats as well. These courses thrived because they were introduced just in time to capitalize a boom in a science that required a practical manifestation.

Today, science had made rapid strides in new frontiers like Superconductivity, Nano-materials, Nuclear Energy, Space and Astro sciences, Molecular modeling, Genetics, Micro-biology, Drugs designing  etc. And yet, where are the engineering course to match these strides? How many engineering colleges in India offer courses on any of these fields?

Though there are several other reasons, I would not like to go into them at this juncture. At the end of the day, students would only like to take up something that can give them a good living in terms of job prospects and visibility. People who plan engineering course would therefore need to do a serious re-think on the courses they offer. Are they attempting to merely flog a dead horse? Or should they hitch their wagon to a rising star?

I think it is best to stop here and let people ponder on this cryptic ending.

 

An expensive fantasy far removed from reality

Douglas Everett’s quote would perhaps form the best  prelude to this blog post I am going to make: ““There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.

The other weekend (November 1), my wife and I visited the famous Ramoji film city on the outskirts of Hyderabad city.

During the tour, Aslam – our very helpful guide, took us around several areas of interest.  He showed us the endless lines of sets and streets. Sets of village scenes, houses, planes, gardens etc. There was also one scene of ‘optimisation’ where the front entrance was that of the Bangalore international airport and the rear entrance of the same set was that of a major city hospital! All of them had only plaster-of-paris exteriors and were hollow inside. Each set could be transformed to look like anything just with a few tugs and pulls.

Aslam also said that some sets on the city premises costed a whopping Rs. 30 lakh to Rs.1 crore to make just for a 5 minute song sequence! It is rumoured that the costliest Indian movie ever made (Kamal Hasans’ Dasavatharam) costed upwards of Rs. 1 billion (with almost Rs. 100 million spent on charter flights and celebrity visits for promotional events). I just could not help but think – HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO KEEP US IN A WORLD OF PURE FANTASY!

Reality and Fantasy are of course matters of debate with no less a person than Albert Einstein himself declaring “Reality is merely an Illusion, though a very persistent one.” For example, while some may argue if it is essential to spend such huge amounts on keeping us transfixed to a world of fantasy that is far removed from reality, one look at the film city will tell you how many creative talents actually make a living honing their skills and sharing their genius with the world. Should they be denied their due?

The problem should perhaps be laid more at the door of the directors and producers. Maybe the correct path to follow would be not to take away the bread from the plates of so many who depend on this industry to keep us in a dream world and our dreads and fears at bay at least for some time. And yet use this pool of creative talent to make films that will help further increase human thought and free thinking – not just weave silken threads of fantasy to build ivory towers for people to ultimately lose their reality.

 

Letting the Cat out…

This morning began with total pandemonium in our house. In retrospect, the cat responsible for the hullabaloo must have had no clue as to the sensation it would create that day.

It all began with an open door. I had been warning my father to keep the door closed behind him. He takes an early morning walk in our garden with his walking stick.  A cat with a fresh brood of three kittens had taken a fancy for our neighbourhood and had been doing the rounds of late. He had forgotten to close the door as usual.

I was upstairs in my room when I heard him yell, “Cat in the house, cat in the house…!” Cats are normally very agile and fast on their feet and this yell was almost immediately followed by a high pitched shriek from the kitchen. This one had to be mom for sure and so I knew the cat’s location now. Even as I rushed to the kitchen she shouted “Bed room, bed room…”. This feline was surely in the ultra fast category. I went into the bedroom on the ground floor and the cat dashed out from the other side to go towards the main door again.

I heaved a sigh of relief. It would soon go out of the main door. Instead, dad shouted to me again: “It is going upstairs.” I followed and chased it down. Astoundingly, it went into the bedroom again instead of going out of the wide open main door.

So in again I went and chased it out – but I was smart enough to rush after it, as it escaped me to go to the main door again. And this was when I discovered why it was not going out.

Dad had parked himself right at the main door and was dutifully and with full zest waving his walking stick and shouting “Shoo shooo..” as the cat streaked towards the main door. Obviously with such a threatening apparition right in front of it, the cat would not do anything silly like risking going through the door. It therefore went up the stairs again to the first floor.

As I chased the cat up, I shouted down: “Dad, move out of the door. How will the cat go if you block the way?” He looked perplexed at the suggestion. Then realisation hit him and he muttered “Oh” and moved out.

This time the cat bolted straight out of the door. I am sure it had a smirk on its face.

As for me, I had definitely had my share of exercise for the day and told my trainer not to kill me with a fresh dose that evening.